Amadeus (1984)
Mediocrities everywhere, I absolve you!
THE SUMMARY: An elderly ex-composer is committed to a psych hospital and tells the story of his jealousy for and the untimely death of his professional rival Wolfgang Mozart in a movie with themes I love, but presentation I hate. I can forgive a lot of stylistic annoyances if the substance of the movie is deep, but in this case, the annoyances are deeper. I understand why people enjoy this one. For me, it’s just too many powdered wigs and too much obnoxious laughter.
Note: I watched the director’s cut because that was the only version available. It adds twenty minutes of additional scenes. Because this is an expanded presentation, I will withhold any of my typical ‘this shit’s too long’ complaints.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER ROSS: Based on a stage play, this not-entirely-historically-accurate period drama about the death of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart looks and feels like it was made much more recently than the '80s. It's dark, it's a little unhinged, and it just might make you appreciate classical music, period dramas, and the combination of the two (if you didn't already). Rock me, F. Murray Abraham!
THE BEST:
Some important and valuable themes: The substance of this movie, despite my complaints with the annoying presentation, is quite deep, and I don’t overlook it.
The struggle with God: Fundamentally, Amadeus is a cautionary tale about the dangers and futility of trying to bargain with God, or to dare to try to defeat him. Salieri’s original premise is a flawed one - promising God faith and fidelity if he gives you certain favors. That’s not the way it works. You don’t succeed by defying God, or by trying to bend him or sway him. You succeed by serving him.
And I don’t say that as a particularly religious person, though of course I am on the journey - the idea is just as true if you phrase it in more secular terms. The rules of the universe are what they are. Your success is built within them, not by trying to cheat them.
The struggle with confronting your own talents (or lack thereof): To the prior point, part of operating within the rules of the universe is accepting your lot in life, and maximizing it. One of the most meaningful pieces of Salieri’s narration is when he wonders why God would make him want something so badly that he can never achieve: ‘All I wanted was to sing to God. He gave me that longing... and then made me mute. Why? Tell me that. If He didn't want me to praise him with music, why implant the desire? Like a lust in my body! And then deny me the talent?’
As much as Salieri seems to think he’s uniquely cursed with this situation, I think it’s one with which we can all relate. I love snowboarding. I’m nowhere near good enough to compete in the X Games. I love music and playing guitar. Nobody’s gonna buy my album or go to my show. It sounds anti-ambitious, and I suppose it is, but with everything we enjoy, we must also understand and accept our limitations. Just because I can’t do these things professionally doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy mediocre snowboarding and guitar-playing in my free time.
I also had to ‘fail’ at these things to find the better use of my talents: what I do now. 15-year-old me wanted to be a sponsored snowboarder. It didn’t happen. 25-year-old me wanted to play in a band. I played a few bar shows and no matter how much I practiced, I just couldn’t do it at a high level. And that’s okay. The point is it’s not failure if you can’t achieve your passion at the highest possible level. Your passion can be a hobby, and if you keep searching with a positive, eager attitude, you will find something you can do professionally at a high enough level to finance your hobbies anyway.
Too much work time, not enough family time is costly: Another point to which I relate strongly is Mozart’s commitment to his work at the expense of his family. I enjoy my work, and that’s motivation enough, but with building a new family in recent years, my motivation to do it is also described as obligation. I’m not just working for my own enjoyment and sustenance anymore - I’m working to provide.
And that creates an interesting paradox - I work harder to provide for my family, but by working harder, I often limit my time with them. If I don’t provide for them, that’s a failure as a father. But if I don’t spend enough time with them - that’s also a failure as a father. It’s not enough just to provide - dad also has to be a present role model. However a role model who doesn’t provide… isn’t modeling the role.
It’s a philosophical balance I struggle to find. Typically I err on the side of working hard, but when I see Mozart in this movie, I’m reminded a break or two to spend more time with my son is probably a good idea. After all, the worst dad isn’t a broke dad. It’s a dead dad, so be wary of working all the way to the limit.
THE WORST:
It’s just not my setting, and I don’t want to watch or listen to actual opera: It’s completely subjective, but it’s my review and I’m entitled to that. I hate almost everything aesthetically about this movie. It’s exactly how I feel about the American revolution - great ideas, terrible fashion. All the men look like giant frilly pussies, all the decor is so overly ornate it’s just noise, and I just can’t listen to opera singing. Give me chalkboard fingernails. Give me a screaming baby. Give me the Sarah Silverman podcast. Okay, maybe not that. But opera singing is one of the more annoying audio experiences for me, and this movie makes me sit through practically an entire event’s worth. I don’t care if it’s the word of God himself - if it’s by opera singing, I’m out.
The laugh: I heard many of you in the chat last week were predicting I would hate it. You know me too well - it’s even more annoying than the opera singing. Quirks make memorable characters - I’ll grant that. I certainly won’t forget this one, but damn. I don’t need dozens of repetitions to get it. It doesn’t help that almost none of the circumstances that prompt the laugh are actually funny.
On a side note, is this where Tucker got his trademarked chuckle? Seriously - click play on the two videos below simultaneously. You can’t tell me you can tell which is which.
Mozart’s laugh
Tucker’s laugh
Horrendous makeup: Perhaps I shouldn’t be so critical - this movie was released in 1984, before movie effects started getting much more advanced and believable. But this isn’t about spaceships and lasers. It’s about face makeup. Mozart’s deathbed face looks like someone just scrubbed some Spirit Halloween gray face paint on him, and did a particularly bad job. It doesn’t look like a dying man. It looks like a guy who tried too hard for his coworkers’ costume contest and still lost.
Likewise, elderly Salieri is terrible too. It’s the same actor with a hairpiece and some facial prosthetics, and it also looks extremely fake and Halloween-y. The better strategy is just to get an older actor. By the time you dress up the same actor with all of this fake crap, he doesn’t look like the same guy anyway.
Bad even by neighborhood trick-or-treat standards
Just get an old actor
THE RATING: 2/5 Wickies. As much as I can appreciate the important themes, the opera setting, the laugh, and other annoyances just ruin my ability to enjoy this one. My hate is all presentational, not philosophical. I get how and why people love this movie, but it just ain’t for me.
YOUR RATING: Vote here ⬇
NEXT WEEK: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003). Movie-picker Ross’ list was rejected last week, so this is a random IMDb top-rated selection.
AFTER THAT? YOU PICK - VOTE! January movie-picker Ross has one more week of eligibility, so the list remains unchanged for one last vote. As with last week, if the audience chooses wildcard, a random top-rated movie will be selected instead of these nominations. We will have a special nomination list for the fifth Sunday in January.
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