Predator (1987)
Get to da choppa!
THE SUMMARY: Arnold Schwarzejogger leads an elite military unit on a hostage rescue mission gone wrong - the team is hunted by a mysterious alien, but a resourceful Arnold learns he can just wear blackface to hide, and a combination of primitive weapons finishes the enemy in a way that thousands of rounds of ammunition somehow couldn’t. Classic ‘80s machismo, emphasis on cheese - it’s certainly not the deepest movie I’ve watched, but I can’t deny the entertainment value and the quotability.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER CHARLES: One of the top Schwarzenegger films, in my opinion. This was a huge release when it came out - it spawned a whole series of Predator films but the first is the best one. It also spawned some solid memes.
THE BEST:
The arm-in-arm/’epic handshake’ meme: I always appreciate seeing the origin of a common meme or line or reference, which is the spirit of the entire segment. In this movie, that’s the ‘epic handshake’-turned-arm-wrestle between Dutch and Dillion. It’s a classic about opposing forces finding odd fellowship on a common principle. In the case of the movie, it’s Dutch and Dillon on the mission at hand. In the case of this segment, it’s Blonde and the audience hating my movie taste.
You son of a bitch!
Jesse Ventura’s character: No shot at Arnold or Carl Weathers or any of the other actors, but I loved Jesse Ventura as Blain. He has the coolest gun in the movie, and the best lines too. ‘A bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here, I see! This stuff will make you a goddamned sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me!’ Blain is the best character of the show - it’s too bad he died so soon and so unimpressively.
Buncha slack-jawed faggots around here!
I ain’t got time to bleed!
Pretty solid effects built in a hurry: At first I thought the thermal imaging was pretty crappy, and the initial shots of the predator suit looked lame, like a slightly-above-average Halloween costume with lizard gloves, but once the Predator removed his mask, all was forgiven and the achievement of making a scary and believable monster was acknowledged. The monster’s fangs are gross and move impressively.
Interestingly, the Predator monster was redesigned entirely while the movie was in production. The original suit was too difficult for operation - the legs had three joins, which meant the man inside couldn’t walk naturally and needed assistance from a harness and supporting cables. Filming with this suit was even harder in the Mexican jungle where the movie was shot. Because of these technical difficulties, the first suit was scrapped.
To build a new one, Arnold recruited his special effects friend Stan Winston who had worked on Terminator. Winston sketched and created the new Predator within just a few months.
Honorable mention goes to the ‘invisibility’ effect too. To achieve this effect, a red suit was worn to contrast with the green jungle, and then the red was removed with chroma-key (a reverse green-screen, effectively). The same take was shot again with a wider lens, allowing the empty suit space to be filled with more jungle area, with only a slight distortion in the shape of the Predator. It’s a cool effect for a time with fewer digital tools available.
The original Predator suit
The Predator red suit
THE WORST:
The cheesy lines get really stinky: A case could be made to include some of these lines in ‘the best’ parts of the movie, and I do love some ‘80s cheese, but even if you like some of them (Arnold’s ‘one ugly motherfucker!’ and ‘stick around!’ lines, for example), several are just unnecessary cringe. Specifically I’m talking about Hawkins’ jokes about large vaginas. They had no plot relevance, weren’t particularly funny, and were mostly just awkward interruptions in the flow of the movie.
The thermal ‘camouflage’ doesn’t make a lot of sense: The concept of Arnold/Dutch being hidden from the Predator because his body is covered in mud doesn’t really make sense. Isn’t the point of thermal imaging that it can see heat signatures through obstructions (at least light obstructions, like smoke, dust, or in this case, a thin layer of mud)? If the Predator’s vision can’t see heat through light obstructions, wouldn’t clothes and face paint accomplish close to the same thing? And why aren’t uncovered areas giving off heat signatures? The eyes, for example? I suppose you can write this off as ‘unknown alien biology or technology,’ and yeah, there’s no need to overthink ‘80s action cheese, but it’s still a plot point that’s a little silly.
THE RATING: 4/5 Wickies. Perhaps a shallow movie, but enough action entertainment for enjoyment with a deep bucket of popcorn.
YOUR RATING: Vote here ⬇
NEXT WEEK: The Fifth Element (1997)
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