Dogma (1999)
We figure abortion clinics are a good place to meet loose women.
THE SUMMARY: Two fallen angels trapped on Earth discover a loophole to re-enter heaven, and a divorcee abortionist is tasked with stopping them from exploiting it and undoing all of reality and existence. At first, I was worried this movie would just be a nihilistic nod to atheism, but it was the exact opposite - a meaningful portrayal of how abandonment of God and disrespect for the order of the world lead to dissatisfaction and an unhappy life, and a very funny one as well. Plus I learned the origin of the ‘Buddy Christ’ meme.
It was a movie I expected to hate that won me over strongly by the end - often the best type of movie to watch.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER MAD MURDOCK: I really want to hear Blonde’s opinion of this movie. I like all of Kevin Smith’s movies and this one has a star-studded cast - there’s an unusually high amount of A-list movie stars and comedians in this movie. It’s an enjoyable movie that is mostly good comedy based in very real and relevant moral issues, such as abortion and Catholicism.
THE BEST:
The movie is a full tour of insightful and thoughtful commentary on some of life’s most important philosophical and moral questions:
Don’t try to undermine the natural order of the world: The plot’s entire premise is that if Loki and Bartleby exploit the loophole and re-enter heaven against God’s order and design, all of existence gets erased. That may sound dramatic, but there’s real-world wisdom to that point. We exist in a world of natural order, of natural law, and attempts to avoid those realities or change them to our tastes result in unhappiness at best, and severely immoral action at worst.
Alan Rickman’s performance as Metatron at the Mexican restaurant was masterful: ‘Existence in all its form and splendor functions solely on one principle: God is infallible. To prove God wrong would undo reality and everything that is. Up would become down, black would become white, existence would become nothingness.’
Fundamental truths exist in this world and cannot be undone by man. Try to undo that natural order at your own peril.
A woman fulfilled by her motherly instinct: Bethany’s forfeiture of her drive to be a mother led her to nowhere but apathy and misery. Certain conventional wisdom would insist she be happy - after all, she’s a professional career woman carrying out the important work of liberating other women through the exercise of their most fundamental freedom: the right to kill their children. And she’s sworn off God in the process, believing he’s abandoned her. She’s a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man and doesn’t need God, yet she’s unhappy and listless.
Why? Because no ideological lie can erase the truth: there is no happiness and fulfillment and purpose greater than marriage and family. In the end, Bethany isn’t liberated by indulgence in her own whims or vices. She’s liberated by pregnancy.
Do you know what makes a person decent? Fear. The boardroom scene is a legendary commentary on morality, and what holds us accountable when we think nobody is looking. It legitimately helped clarify a lingering moral question in my head.
A few weeks back, a caller on the Call-In Show said to me ‘fear of God is the basis of wisdom,’ or something close to that phrasing - it was a quote I found somewhat confusing and counter-intuitive. Why would fear build wisdom? Shouldn’t wisdom be based on free inquiry, as in fearlessly investigating every aspect of the world?
As illustrated in this scene, fear in this context represents accountability. When we as humans believe there is nothing above us to hold us accountable, we do terrible things, because we believe there will be no consequences. Without accountability, wisdom is unnecessary, because there’s no reason to make the right choices or to behave the right way.
It’s just funny: This movie is a rare combination of deep and important philosophical themes, plus low-brow humor, which as we saw with Idiocracy, is exactly to my taste. There are too many lines for me to credit: ‘We figure abortion clinics are a good place to meet loose women.’ The scene where Rufus reveals Jay’s private thoughts and habits. The Minnesotan in me enjoyed Alan Rickman’s ‘worse - Wisconsin!’ shot. It’s tough enough to write well philosophically on the topics this movie tackles - it’s tougher still to make it funny, and keep the whole thing coherent. This movie does, and does it well.
THE WORST:
Some annoying race-baiting and other progressive nonsense: I could have done without Chris Rock’s bits about being denied a seat at the apostle table because he’s black, Jesus being a whitewashed black guy, and other rants that 1) weren’t very funny and 2) just aren’t true (I don’t mean specifically about the actual race of Jesus or the apostles, I mean the premise of anti-Black oppression in current day). It didn’t enhance the movie, and it wasn’t really relevant to the movie’s broader themes about the nature of God and humanity.
The action and props are hilariously bad, which I guess is the point: Since they literally called it the ‘shit demon,’ I gather the producers knew it was total crap and wanted it to be that way, but still - the action and effects in this movie were horrible. They made a monster of actual dripping crap, and then didn’t even have the decency to show the people fighting it. They just did that ‘head-turning’ bit with all the characters watching the fight in-progress. If you’re setting up a fight between an armed gang and a monster made of shit, follow through and create the scene. Don’t do a half-assed ass scene.
THE RATING: 4/5 Wickies. Creeping on a five, and still a movie I would strongly recommend, but the annoyances were enough for me to withhold awarding perfection.
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NEXT WEEK: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (1966). For the first time, the audience has vetoed the nomination list, and a random IMDb top-rated movie has been selected.
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