Toy Story (1995)
To infinity, and beyond!
THE SUMMARY: A young boy’s toys compete for his attention, finding purpose and happiness in a life of which he’s not even aware. Toy Story is exceptional in several ways: it’s deeper in its meaning that most kids’ movies, it’s a technological pioneer, and it’s perfectly concise in its presentation. While the first movie isn’t technically a Disney production, Toy Story should rank highly among the greatest Disney greats.
NO MOVIE-PICKER COMMENTARY: Because the nominations were rejected in the last vote, Toy Story is a random selection from IMDb’s top 250 list. It currently ranks #77.
JAMIE AND JEANNE’S AI FACESWAP ART: The video faceswap was too difficult for this one, but the still frames turned out pretty good.
To Berlin, and beyond!
This Woody would successfully kill this Buzz.
THE BEST:
Sympathy for inanimate objects: I know I’ve talked about it on the stream several time: I have a weird sympathy for inanimate objects. Throwing away a toothbrush, or a pair of shoes, or any other thing that served me so well always makes me feel a strange sadness. No, I’m not crazy - it’s like one percent of an actual sadness, but it’s there. It’s a recognition for the service that thing provided me.
It’s a big piece of what makes Toy Story such a great movie - it’s from a unique perspective that ponders what if these things have appreciation for us too. The exploration of that question leads to themes of much greater importance, granted. Whether plastic feels sad like us isn’t really the point - it’s about understanding your role. But even disposable stuff has a role, so salute your old nasty toothbrush the next time you toss it into the trash can.
Perfectly concise: For any minor complaints I have below, Toy Story is perfectly constructed, which is especially important for a kids’ movie. Kids have short attention spans - the movie can’t drag. Every scene and every line in Toy Story matters, and advances the plot in a meaningful way. There is no wasted time or pointless detours. It’s straight to the point, and wholesome and funny throughout.
It hurts to have delusions broken, but it’s necessary: Even if you dismiss my toothbrush-sympathetic nonsense above, the scene where Buzz tries to fly out the window but falls to bust his arm off is a moment we’ve all experienced in some form. You’ve had something you were sure of be violently broken. Maybe it was your own talent. Maybe it was a relationship. Maybe it was belief in a philosophy or religion. As Buzz realizes, it’s incredibly painful to have one of your delusions destroyed so harshly. But it’s necessary. It’s the only way we find the truth, and our true purpose. When you fall and break your arm off, which you will, literally or metaphorically, endure the pain with an understanding that there’s a lesson for you in it, and an opportunity if you’re wise enough to learn it.
Recognize your purpose: Breaking Buzz’s delusion is necessary to get him to see the truth: yes, he’s just a plastic toy, but plastic toys still have purpose. Likewise, for the rest of us, we’re all just plastic toys in most ways: unremarkable, average, or otherwise modest. That doesn’t mean we lack purpose. You could be a perfectly average man in all aspects: intelligence, physical strength, charisma, or any other way, but you are still someone’s son, brother, husband, and father. And that role is special because it can only be filled by you. When we stop prioritizing fantasy roles, and start prioritizing the most basic ones, we set ourselves up for the most success and happiness.
In other words, before you’re a success or failure in anything else, you belong to somebody. Andy’s name is on Buzz and Woody’s feet, and someone’s is on yours too. There’s inherent purpose in that.
The dawn of the computer animation age: In technology, Toy Story represents the changing of an era. It was the first full-length movie animated completely by computer. Of course ever since, computer renderings have expanded not just in animation, but across all other genres too. I hadn’t seen Toy Story for decades, so I was curious to see how the animation holds up. Actually, pretty well. I expected simple textures and not a lot of detail, but that’s not the case. There are realistic scuffs on the walls, the characters have reflections and shadows, Sid’s room is dramatically grimy - every scene is impressively detailed. It may not look quite as polished as today’s computer-animated movies, but it’s not drastically far behind. Toy Story set the bar very high, not just in story-telling, but in visual and artistic excellence.
There’s a great mini-doc on the technical achievement, and how the movie was nearly very different in style and tone, here.
You belong to somebody.
We all need our delusions broken.
How Toy Story became Toy Story.
THE WORST:
Yes, these freaks are nice, but: I get it - it’s a nice message for kids. Don’t judge those freak Franken-toys by their scary appearances. They may actually be very friendly and helpful. And they are. But there are two kinds of freaks: freaks who were actually abused (as these toys were), and freaks who are just degenerates. Today, there are way too many of the latter, and thus I can’t teach my sons to trust freaks by default. It’s your fault, freaks - you’re the ones arguing that up is down, left is right, and right is wrong. Keep your pants on and go to church, then we’ll talk.
Where is Andy’s dad?: It didn’t hit me until the ending Christmas scene, but where the hell is Andy’s dad? He’s not there for Andy’s birthday, he’s not there for the move, and he’s not there for Christmas either. Today my mind is primed to think that’s just progressive propaganda, the intentional erasure of the father. But for a movie of this age, I thought, there’s no way. There must be some other reason he’s absent.
Previously, there was an explanation that I wish was the intent, because it’s actually very pro-father. A guy claimed the now dead Pixar head writer Joe Ranft told him Andy’s dad, Andy’s Sr., was diagnosed with polio in 1959. Andy Sr. was the original owner of Woody, Slinky Dog, and Mr. Potato Head. Andy Sr. hid these toys in a chest in the attic. When Andy Sr. was dying of post-polio syndrome, he gave his son Andy the key to the chest. As Andy grabbed the chest from the attic, his dad died, but through the toys, the father stays with his son.
That explanation was denied by Pixar’s Andrew Stanton, who worked on every Toy Story movie, in 2017. Okay - so where the hell is Andy’s dad then? Still no explanation.
Why can’t the RC car drive himself?: This is a completely inconsequential nit-picky point, but why does the RC car need to be driven by Woody? All toys have complete self-control and independent movement, but not the RC car? If the RC car still needs someone else’s control, he isn’t ‘animated’ in the same way all the other toys are. Woody can talk without someone pulling his string. Buzz can flash his laser and deploy his wings without someone else pushing his buttons. Why can’t this car just drive himself?
Today’s freaks are not to be trusted.
Where is Andy’s dad?
Why can’t the RC car drive himself?
THE RATING: 5/5 Wickies. A near perfect family movie, from a better time when simple themes, valuable lessons, and great memorable characters ruled over today’s lesbian propaganda.
For the second time in the history of the movie review segment, that’s three consecutive five-Wicky ratings from me, following The Book of Eli and The Boondock Saints. The only other time that happened was with The Outlaw Josey Wales, The Hunt, and Jurassic Park in May 2022. But that triplet has an asterisk - Jurassic Park was my own pick, so of course I was going to rate it five.
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NEXT WEEK: The Passion of the Christ (2004)
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