Man on Fire (2004)
Revenge is a meal best served cold.
THE SUMMARY: An alcoholic ex-CIA agent is hired to protect a young girl in Mexico City, she is kidnapped in an insurance fraud scheme gone wrong, and he brutalizes his way to her recovery, sacrificing himself for her safety as he was hired to do. ‘Revenge is a meal best served cold,’ John Creasy says. More accurately, revenge is a meal best served with seizure-inducing irrelevant forever montages, or perhaps revenge is a meal never served at all. The movie takes forever to build up to an ending that completely fails to deliver.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER BOBBY: It has cartel stuff and Denzel Washington. It's like Taken, but more gloomy.
THE BEST:
Your life has purpose: I appreciate the movie’s message that no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you’ve lost, or no matter how you’ve failed, your life has value and a purpose and should not be ended by your own sorrow. Even if that purpose is hacking off cartel fingers, recklessly shooting an RPG into an urban intersection of innocents, and wrongfully convincing a young girl’s dad to kill himself on false pretenses.
It’s hard for me to take this point seriously because the movie doesn’t. It’s full of preposterously wrong torture and murder, however - I appreciate the overall message that if you quit on yourself, you will miss what the future holds not just for you, but for everyone who loves you. John Creasy didn’t expect to find profound meaning as a swim coach shortly after his suicide attempt, but he did, and that’s the point: even if the value of our lives seems murky today, tomorrow presents unexpected ways in which it isn’t.
A man without a family comes to see its value: In a related theme, it’s not fully explained why John Creasy is single and childless - presumably it’s because of his life of covert operations. But it is notable what provides him purpose when he’s lost motive to continue: family. Or at least a close replication of it. It’s not the job for which Creasy is hired that motivates him to go on the revenge quest. It’s the fact that despite his resistance and commitment to professionalism over emotion, Pita becomes a daughter figure to him. It is only that motive that provides him with purpose, not the money he earns, not his military and law enforcement career, and certainly not the bottle. If you want to be constantly reminded of your purpose, and constantly prohibited from quitting, your children will have that effect.
The ass blast: I’m not a big fan of torture scenes, even when understandable or deserved. I just don’t get entertainment or enjoyment out of watching excruciating suffering. However, the C4-up-the-ass bit is funny and memorable. As a concept, it provides urgent negotiation, a comedic theme, and a satisfying but merciful end that doesn’t drag out the agony. I just wonder how exactly Creasy got it in there.
Shoot an RPG into an urban intersection because you’ve had a moral epiphany
The ass blast
THE WORST:
The godawful transition montages: Apparently the movie is trying to be ‘cinematic’ or ‘stylistic’ or ‘artsy’ or some nonsense like that - it isn’t. Not only do these earthquake shaky quick-cut acid trip montages bait epilepsy, but many of them add nothing of substance to the movie and given the volume, which is practically every transition between scenes, they add what probably accounts for at least 15 minutes in a movie that’s already too long. Delete these montages, and add a Wicky to this movie.
I can’t find a good collection of all of them on YouTube, but the editing style during Pita’s kidnapping is a good example. Do the camera shake and the constant flashing quick-cuts make the story or presentation any more dramatic? Or do they just make harder and more painful to watch? It’s like a high school kid trying to show off all the iMovie effects - just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Tell me a story by writing and performing, not by strobe light.
The end is not nearly revenge-y enough: I understand there’s supposed to be some deep meaning in Creasy chopping fingers and ass-blasting his way back to Pita, only to forgo his violent urges to secure her safety and sacrifice himself in the process. That does not make the ending satisfying, however. Creasy promises revenge served cold. Creasy promises he will personally torture and kill the Voice and his family. But in the end, Creasy surrenders and dies a boring passive death.
Yes, he saved Pita. Yes, that was the entire purpose. But punishing those responsible was a close second, by Creasy’s personal guarantee. I get that if he just shot up the Voice’s henchmen, it would put Pita at risk, but as mentioned, Creasy is an expert in the art of ass blasting. He could have rigged himself and gone out in style. He didn’t. Even more insulting, they dress up his completely lame death with the same shaky-cam strobe-light nonsense. You can make a flashy edit of paint drying or grass growing. It doesn’t make it deep or meaningful.
THE RATING: 2/5 Wickies. A moment of meaning or two, a moment of action or two, and a laugh or two, but nothing worth the seizure watching this movie induces.
YOUR RATING: Vote here ⬇
NEXT WEEK: Falling Down (1993)
AFTER THAT? YOU PICK - VOTE! August’s movie nominations are from listener Derek.
Want to be the movie nominator for the month? Here’s how - fill out the form below.