Jurassic Park (1993)

Life, uh - finds a way.

THE SUMMARY: Two paleontologists’ visit to verify the safety of a developing de-extinct dinosaur park does everything but, as a disgruntled employee disables park security and everyone fights for survival. The movie holds up - even though as an adult I now notice some more conceptual flaws or plot holes, almost every scene in the movie remains legendary and still looks great too.

FROM MOVIE-PICKER ME: This is the first movie ever selected from my own nominations. I hadn’t seen the original in 15+ years, but Jurassic Park inspired a love of dinosaurs in my young mind. Because of this movie, I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up, until my dad took me to a dig in South Dakota, and it was so boring I changed my mind and became a podcaster instead.

THE BEST:

• Almost every scene is legendary: The ‘welcome to Jurassic Park’ scene where Alan and Ellie first see the brachiosauruses. The T-rex attack (especially the eye through the car window, if you ask me). The gallimimus stampede. The ‘clever girl’ trap for Muldoon. The raptor stalking in the kitchen. Almost every single scene is legendary not necessarily in that it’s perfect, but because it’s memorable. You see it once and you never forget.

  Part of what makes these scenes so memorable is bringing the dinosaurs to believable life in a way that hadn’t been done before. Sure, there’s CGI, and sure, some of that CGI now looks a little dated, but Jurassic Park may represent the pinnacle of a bygone technology - animatronics. T-rex’s performance was mostly by a giant puppet - the largest puppet practical effects artist Stan Winston ever built. Same with the sick triceratops - it’s a giant puppet. Even the kitchen raptor scene was achieved by human actors in raptor suits, as well as a 6-foot raptor puppet, which is incredibly impressive, given how smoothly and believably those raptors move.

  Across these reviews I’ve praised and ridiculed the work of Winston, from his laughably bad lows of Terminator, to his better work in Predator, Aliens, and others. Jurassic Park is his finest ever work, the height of his craft, and you can’t change my mind.

  Honorable mention to the sound effects team too - the terrifying freight-train of T-rex’s roar is perfect.

Welcome to Jurassic Park

Keep absolutely still

Timmy, what is it?

• It’s perfectly cast: The main casting choices are all great - Sam Neill as Alan Grant, Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcolm, Richard Attenborough as John Hammond, and others - but the best choice was Wayne Knight as Dennis Nedry, the obese park computer systems manager who betrays Hammond to kick off the chaos. That character is key, something I may not have noticed or cared about as a kid, but he’s responsible for the entire event, and he represents an important truth: no matter how smart you are, or think you are, if you disrespect the importance of physical strength in the natural world, you’re gonna find out.

• The soundtrack is amazing, especially the main theme: It’s by John Williams, famous for many other iconic scores including Star Wars, Jaws, and Home Alone, but this one may be his best. It gets implanted in your head and plays over and over again, and somehow captures all the emotional themes of the movie - wonder, beauty, and danger. I’ve heard it a million times, and it still gives me shivers. Ha - gayyyy!

• The themes of man’s futile efforts to control nature are timeless: When I was a kid, all I cared about was how cool the dinosaurs are. And they are cool, but as an adult, I can much more thoroughly appreciate the movie’s themes of man’s futile efforts to control nature: Malcom’s conversation with the park’s biological engineers about how life ‘finds a way,’ despite the supposed impossibility of the all-female park dinosaurs reproducing, Malcom’s warning that focusing solely on what we can do without concern for what we should do will lead to destruction, Ellie telling Hammond that he never had control, the control of nature is an illusion, and more.

  It all speaks to an important truth: it is our job as humans to live within and according to the natural rules of the world, not seek to dominate or defy them. When we try to conquer the natural order instead of live within it, we get terrible outcomes, whether it’s dinosaur attacks, or more current news-relevant things, like child gender transitions, or mask mysticism, or lockdown tyranny. As Malcom puts it, ‘the lack of humility before nature… staggers me.’ Ain’t that the issue with several of today’s problems.

Live performance of the main theme

The lack of humility before nature

You’ve never had control - that’s the illusion

THE WORST:

• Some plot holes or conceptual flaws: Now that I’m older, some plot holes and conceptual silliness are more obvious than they were years ago. It doesn’t mean the movie suffers for them, but some things I noticed watching it now:

  • The ultra-safe Explorer in T-rex attack scene: For the kids to escape this scene without serious injury is beyond ludicrous. The car’s roof glass is T-rex jaw proof? Timmy is fine after plunging several dozen feet head on into a tree without a seatbelt? And the escape from the car is even more ridiculous - why would they climb under the car, in its fall zone? And if it started to fall, why wouldn’t they move laterally, out of its fall zone, instead of trying to race the car to the bottom? And if the car did fall, it would bounce around off the branches, tumbling unpredictably, not driving down the tree trunk in the way it does here. And of course, to finish, the car falls on them anyway, but they’re somehow still fine - totally uninjured. I get that buys you the endearing ‘back in the car’ line, but this is the one action scene that isn’t necessary. The dinosaur tension is plenty. The car is silly.

  • Why would they house critical power infrastructure in some jungle shed?: Given the danger that exists at this facility, why would it possibly have been designed with critical power infrastructure accessed through some backwoods shed, away from the main building, totally unsecured? Even if you believe there’s no way for the dinosaurs to get to it, are wild animals on the island not a problem? Is weather not a problem? Is someone outside the organization accessing the island’s power controls not a problem? There is no logical reason for this design.

  • Timmy’s fall from the electrified fence makes no sense: Immediately before the power activates, Grant is right below Timmy urging him to jump. The power activates, and Timmy launches dozens of feet horizontally. Grant is somehow still right there to catch him.

  • How did T-rex just sneak into a building?: It’s a cool scene, don’t get me wrong, but when the raptors finally corner everybody in the main building lobby with the fossil displays, how in the hell did T-rex get in there without anybody noticing? It would have had to break walls, or doors, or glass, and yet without any noise, it’s just there. How?

  • Did Hammond just bail on his entire staff?: Throughout the movie, we see dozens if not hundreds of Jurassic Park employees. Food service staff. Biolab staff. Security staff. But after the power is restored and the storm settles, Hammond just bails? Does he not care about all his people on the island, with dinosaurs freely roaming to kill them? The whole premise of the movie is fighting off a lawsuit - Hammond just earned himself lawsuit hell.

• Eye-candy Jeff Goldblum: Maybe this is actually ‘the best’ - I don’t know. But the scene with unbuttoned, sweaty Jeff Goldblum relaxing seductively on his side is cheesy and hilarious. Is that supposed to appeal to his love interest Ellie? She’s not even there in the scene. Is that supposed to appeal to the audience? I suppose it does, but more in a comedy way than a serious way. According to Goldblum, the unbuttoning may have come at director Steven Spielberg’s suggestion, or it may have been Goldblum’s idea himself - he can’t remember. Oh well - good or bad, it created some quality memes.

• Not eye-candy Laura Dern: I actually wouldn’t take any shots at Laura Dern otherwise, even though she does have a few annoying remarks about ‘sexism,’ but I have to mention the recent ‘controversy’ involving Jurassic Park - Dern saying that since she was 23 at the time, her on-screen relationship with 43-year-old Sam Neill was ‘totally inappropriate’ because of a 20-year age gap. First of all, the two paleontologists never discussed their ages in the movie, and both are obviously adults. But more importantly, nobody, and I mean nobody, thought that Alan was 20 years older than Ellie. I was much more shocked to learn that Laura Dern was only 23 at the time. I would have guessed mid 30s. Not only that, but the reason the commentary is coming up now is because both are appearing in the upcoming summer sequel Jurassic World Dominion, and yes, even in their older years, both still look roughly the same age. This isn’t a matter of ‘inappropriateness,’ lady. It’s a matter of you looking much older than you do. If that’s harsh, sorry - but I have no sympathy after your integral involvement in the purple-haired ruination of Star Wars.

Goldblum explains the scene

Laura Dern and Sam Neill then

Laura Dern and Sam Neill now

THE RATING: 5/5 Wickies. While I notice some flaws and some silliness as an adult 30 years later, the movie absolutely holds up overall and remains an original on a level that’s always attempted but rarely achieved - Jurassic Park brought imagination to life in a way that may not be replicated again.

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NEXT WEEK: Robocop (1987)

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