National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
It’s a bit nipply out.
THE SUMMARY: A suburban dad tries his damnedest to give his family a meaningful and memorable Christmas, but a series of unfortunate events and hijinks sabotage him into various animal abuses and kidnapping instead. File this one under ‘I want to like it, but…’ I like Christmas wholesomeness. I like the original National Lampoon’s Vacation. But this one just doesn’t make me laugh enough to earn high comedy marks.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER MICHAEL SCHLECHT (FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER): Michael is upping the production quality by offering his selection thoughts via video submission.
Transcription: Christmas Vacation was an absolute no-brainer to add to this list. It’s a movie that takes us back to a simpler time of comedy, where the funny was rooted in actual relatable situations. Christmas Vacation showcases our main character and patriarch, Clark Griswold, as a dad who just wants to provide for his family the best that he can. As a new dad myself to the adorable Finn, this movie really hits close to home. Complete with over-the-top, stereotypically awful in-laws, cartoonish physical comedy, and way more heart than a National Lampoon’s movie deserves to have, it’s no wonder why we watch this movie at least twice a year.
THE BEST:
Proper handling of tailgaters: The movie starts strong for me with its most relatable scene - Clark handling a tailgater properly. First slow down or brake check-bait them into the pass, and then when they move into the oncoming lane, put the gas pedal to the floor and hope they get in a head-on.
Okay - maybe not the last part, but only because it endangers innocents. I freely admit to engaging in this behavior in pursuit of traffic justice. If you bumper-ride, you are the aggressor. When I hit the gas, it’s just self-defense. Plus Clark’s middle finger delivery is perfection. Great scene.
Did The Simpsons steal the Sideshow Bob rake-stepping bit?: As an avid viewer of the first twenty or so seasons of The Simpsons, Sideshow Bob repeatedly stepping on rakes and shivering in rage is a scene I’ll never forget. Clark stepping on loose boards in the attic is nearly the same bit, but Clark did it five years prior. I don’t see any official reference to link the two scenes, but it seems impossible one has nothing to do with the other.
Clark’s frustrated outburst: I’m not terribly impressed with either the writing or the performances in this movie, but credit where due for Clark’s rant upon receiving a monthly jelly subscription in place of his Christmas bonus. It’s over thirty seconds of creative and consecutive profanities, without a single break, repetition, or other error in the delivery. My wife and I wondered if it was scripted or improvised. Turns out, it was something in between. According to this account, the cast members hung cue cards around their necks for Chevy Chase to read, so he could remember all the insults and recite them without mistakes.
A wholesome raid, for once: If I’m raided by the FBI or any other police force, I hope it ends as amicably. In an age of Ruby Ridges, Wacos, and every third person you know being a federal informant trying to lock you up, it’s nice to see a SWAT raid that turns friendly. The cops didn’t even shoot the dog. Now that’s the Christmas spirit.
Though of course such a situation couldn’t end without some sort of fiery explosion, but at least in this case, it was an inspirational display in the Christmas night sky, not kids burning alive.
It’s a bit nipply out: This movie is the origin of that phrase, apparently. Fair enough - credit where a reference is gained.
Eat my rubber!
It’s 23 different insults, if you’re curious.
They didn’t even shoot the dog.
THE WORST:
It’s just not that funny: I realize I just praised a few moments I thought were decently funny, but those word choices are deliberate: few and decently. Not many and extremely. The scripting just isn’t very clever, the performances aren’t that inspired, and many of the characters all just run together. Which relative is whose? Who cares - they’re all just old and annoying, and that’s the point, I guess.
This isn’t a movie that’s trying to teach me a profound lesson. It isn’t a movie that’s trying to explore a deep moral or philosophical dilemma. It’s a movie that’s trying to make me laugh, and for high marks in that genre, I need to be laughing loudly and often. I didn’t.
Clark is kind of a douchebag: Part of what damages the comedy is I don’t find Clark to be all that relatable, actually. I find him to be kind of a douchebag. He not only fantasizes about women other than his wife, he openly engages with them flirtatiously. He feels entitled to more money, though in fairness, he does try to prove his worth to his boss instead of just complaining exclusively. His worst predicament is that he may not be able to afford a pool for his already huge suburban home, the financing of which he already committed to based on assumption, not money in the bank.
These are all poor character qualities, and I get that he’s not supposed to be a hero - he’s supposed to be an everyman. But that’s the problem - in no way do I think these are everyman characteristics. Lust at the expense of family, entitlement, complaints despite luxury - these are douchebag characteristics. Hard to relate to, and hard to cheer for.
It’s not a Christmas movie: It doesn’t actually show Christmas - only the days preceding, up to and including Christmas Eve. It should be called National Lampoon’s Pre-Christmas Vacation.
Yes, I’m mocking myself and trying to bait those of you who disagreed with my criticism that there’s not enough flight of the Phoenix in The Flight of the Phoenix.
THE RATING: 3/5 Wickies. I originally intended on two, but based on the references I gained, the occasional laughs, and an effort to get into the Christmas spirit to start the season, I’ll be generous.
YOUR RATING: Vote here ⬇
NEXT WEEK: Gremlins (1984)
AFTER THAT? YOU PICK - VOTE! Remaining December Christmas movie nominees from long-time listener and helpful show contributor Michael Schlecht (follow him on Twitter) are as follows. In the event that his list is rejected, we will randomly select a movie from IMDb’s top-rated Christmas movie list.
Want to be the movie nominator for the month? Here’s how - fill out the form below.