The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Humbug.
THE SUMMARY: A grouchy and cheap old businessman learns the error of his ways through an inspirational Christmas haunting in the musical Muppet rendition of the Charles Dickens classic. The appreciation I have is mostly for Dickens’ story, not necessarily for the minimal value that puppets with annoying voices and questionably phallic noses add to it, but other than that obscenity, it’s perfectly fine family viewing.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER MICHAEL SCHLECHT (FOLLOW HIM ON TWITTER): All month, Michael is upping the production quality by offering his selection thoughts via video submission.
Transcription: Since The Muppet Christmas Carol has been made available to us on DVD and video, it has always been a tradition of mine that it be the first Christmas movie of every year. We would watch it at every Thanksgiving day as the festivities wrapped up. Despite the horrifying and creepy Ghost of Christmas Past, I believe this to be the best adaptation of A Christmas Carol ever made. With Gonzo and Rizzo hilariously taking us along for the ride, we get all sorts of other fun appearances by our favorite Muppets - shoutout to Beaker. Not to mention, Michael Caine as Ebenezer Scrooge is a terrific straight-man counter-balance to the rest of the comical cast. We’ve already watched this movie twice this year, and with the recent re-addition of the song ‘When Love Is Gone’ into the movie, I highly suspect we’ll squeeze in a third viewing before it is all said and done.
THE BEST:
Good old-fashioned wisdom to remember: It’s not just a movie about the Christmas spirit - it illustrates a couple of key philosophies for a life well-lived.
The value of introspection: The ghosts are simply a mechanism to force upon Scrooge what we should all apply to ourselves voluntarily: introspection. Why do you do what you do everyday? What is the reasoning behind all the choices you make that add up to that day? What is the sum of those choices, and are they in the direction of some broader, long-term purpose or goal?
I know this stuff can sound like Brian Griffin-style generic self-help, but it’s true. If you aren’t critically examining your past and present constantly, your future will suffer for it. Only through thoughtful decisions today do we build the best tomorrow. Don’t rely on a faceless specter to scare that lesson into you - think about it and face it yourself instead.
You are the architect of your future: Likewise, the best philosophy is to assume that the things you don’t like about your life are your fault. That may not always be the case, in fact it often isn’t, but assuming everything is your fault will prompt you to do everything in your power to change what you can and thus change outcomes. It’ll prompt you to work hard, and hard work pays off through prolonged application.
This movie’s entire plot is one big demonstration that you are the architect of your future. Sure, there are obstacles. Sure, there are injustices and there is unfairness, but nobody has a bigger influence on the life you will live than you do. Make your choices accordingly.
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come
A tale of two ghosts, the good: The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is downright creepy, in a good way. The character is a great demonstration that less can be more - that absence can create a better effect than overdoing the presentation. The absence of a face and voice are ominous in a way that works for adults and children alike, crucial considering the family target audience. Best of all, the ghost intimidates Gonzo and Rizzo into shutting the hell up for a few minutes.
Seriously speaking, even if I don’t appreciate the story’s narrators as much as some might, the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come creates absolute seriousness exactly when it’s needed. To the prior point, how you craft your future is something about which you should be deadly serious every single day, and treating that point with sincerity and not the slapstick and banter in the rest of this movie is crucial to the point landing.
It’s mercifully short: Only 85 minutes, including credits. I know all I do is rip on movies that I perceive as wasting time, so I’m obligated to praise them when they don’t, but for the niche in which this movie fits, the quick pace is especially key. It’s perfect for kids with short attention spans. It’s perfect as a background supplement for various Christmas activities. It’s perfect for re-watching as a holiday tradition, as many enjoy. I extend appreciation to the production team for somehow figuring out how to make a musical not waste time insufferably.
THE WORST:
Some of the wisdom is fraudulent: There’s far more wisdom I can appreciate in this story than alleged wisdom I question, but there is one doozy: in the closing song ‘Thankful Heart,’ Scrooge sings ‘if you need to know the measure of a man, you simply count his friends.’ In a world full of wickedness, this is simply untrue. In fact, I could argue the exact opposite - you might be a great man because of how many enemies you have, if those enemies are all degenerates.
The point is that the number of friends or enemies is not relevant - the character of those people and the values they uphold are. The measure of a man is his commitment to moral virtue, not his commitment to people. I get it - I’m focusing on one particular line, perhaps overly so - but this is a crucial piece of wisdom to get absolutely wrong. For that reason, it’s not something I would ever teach my children.
A tale of two ghosts, the bad: As good as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is, the Ghost of Christmas Past is reciprocally terrible. Where the Ghost of CYTC is a simple but ominous presentation, the Ghost of CP is a bizarre, overcomplicated creation. To be fair, there were some innovative methods attempted to create the effect - a puppet was submerged in baby oil and water to give a floating, ethereal feel - but it doesn’t work. The face is smooshed and looks like it got a Michael-Jackson style nose job, the voice is emotionless like a robot, and the character is nowhere near as successful in creating its intended aesthetic as the Ghost of CYTC is.
Gonzo’s nose is not for kids: One character I’ll criticize for a smooshed nose, and another I’ll criticize for quite the opposite: an obscene swinging floppy wiener that has no business in a children’s presentation. Indeed, pair it with the giant ball eyes and it’s downright preposterous. There’s a reason the character inspired several sexual terms, and it’s not because everyone else is a sicko. You can’t look at Gonzo’s face and not see it. The only thing that’s appropriate is that Gonzo plays the role of Charles DICKens, because, well - he puts meaning to the name.
Yes, I’m half-joking. But seriously.
The Ghost of Fire the Intern Who Made This
Gonzo putting the dick in Dickens
THE RATING: 3/5 Wickies. A perfectly fine Christmas movie I may someday re-watch with my kids, but the Muppet characters add nothing for me to a classic story for which credit goes to Dickens.
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NEXT WEEK: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992). Thus concludes the month of Christmas movies nominated by long-time listener and helpful show contributor Michael Schlecht (follow him on Twitter).
AFTER THAT? YOU PICK - VOTE! January’s movie nominations are from listener Ross.
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