Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy!
THE SUMMARY: Members of a Marine platoon graduate from boot camp under tragic and violent circumstances, only to be reunited in Vietnam under tragic and violent circumstances. A movie that had me in part one, and lost me in part two, leaving me questioning the point and the connection between the two pieces of the story.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER ADAM: How tall are you private? 5'9"? I didn't know they stacked shit that high! The hilarious slew of insults starkly contrasts the misery of military training and the horrors of war. It shows how desperate people pushed beyond their limit can lose their humanity. This movie may actually warrant an unironic trigger warning.
Best of Hartman
THE BEST:
R. Lee Ermey’s performance as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Hartman’s murder is a broader metaphor for the movie overall - as soon as he’s killed off, so is the movie’s enjoyment.
Maybe it’s a great acting performance, or maybe Gunny Hartman is just who R. Lee Ermey was, but either way, he’s by far the most entertaining piece of the show. Ermey was a real Marine drill instructor of the era, 1965-1967. Because of his experience, he was able to play the role naturally and believably. In fact, he wrote and improvised many of his lines himself.
And credit to those lines, they aren’t just funny and memorable in the movie, but they’re lines I’ve heard different iterations of decades later without actually knowing the origin: ‘golf ball through a garden hose,’ ‘the courtesy of a reach-around,’ the ‘steers and queers’ of Texas, and many more.
To borrow and modify the rifleman’s creed, this movie is Hartman, and Hartman is this movie. He made the movie and the movie made him. Without Hartman, this movie is useless. Without this movie, Hartman is useless.
It’s effectively two movies, and the first is better: In the first half, I was laughing, I was shocked at the murder-suicide, and I was entertained. I gather the movie is interpreted by many as a critique of hyper-masculine military culture, but I appreciated the breakdown and rebuilding of the men on serious terms. Does that boot camp look fun? Of course not. But is that sort of discipline and skill-building sorely lacking in our men today? Absolutely. Maybe we don’t need the full Hartman, but a little Hartman in all of our lives would make the world a better place. Just because it didn’t work for Pyle doesn’t mean the other men weren’t better for it.
THE WORST:
Weird, stiff overacting: In several scenes, the acting is bizarre. Pyle’s speech before the murder-suicide is borderline comedy, and hard to take seriously at best, but it’s supposed to be the most serious moment in the movie. Watching it, I felt like Pyle smirking at Hartman - I know I’m not supposed to, but I can’t help it given the absurdity.
Similarly, the acting during the sniper’s execution is robotic and stiff. The sniper’s ‘shoot me’ pleas are emotionless, as is the dialogue between Joker and Animal Mother. Maybe that’s the point - the men are so desensitized that executing a young woman is of no emotional bother - but in practice, it comes off as forced. It’s as if Joker and Animal Mother are actually reading the script. Two of what are supposed to be the movie’s most dramatic scenes are more cringey than compelling.
It’s effectively two movies, and the second is worse: I expected the first half of the movie to play a major role in the second, but it doesn’t. Pyle’s murder-suicide has no relevance. The reunion between Joker and Cowboy matters almost none, but for a few jokes. And because most of the characters in the second half are new, their deaths aren’t as meaningful because their stories aren’t as developed. The second half wastes what was a strong first - almost nothing that mattered in the first half matters in the second.
Seven-six-two millimeter, full metal jacket
Joker kills the sniper (sorry about the quality - Susan age-restricted the better one)
THE RATING: 3/5 Wickies. A good opening act and a bad closer even out to mediocrity. An iconic performance and good lines in the first half make it memorable enough for a decent rating.
YOUR RATING: Vote here ⬇
NEXT WEEK: Life of Brian (1979)
NOTE: During this week’s stream (the January 16 show), Blonde mentioned that her dad would like us to review Life of Brian for his birthday. Considering it’s his 70th, and considering January has five Sundays this year that will accommodate the usual four picks for the movie nominator for the month, we have decided to watch Life of Brian for the January 23 show, and we will pick back up with Dredd for the January 30 show.
AFTER THAT? YOU PICK - VOTE! January’s movie nominations are selected by listener Adam. This is the last week to vote for this group - next week the nominations will refresh for February.
EDIT: In light of the audible called above, we are boarding up the windows and pulling out the suitcases and fortifying this week’s vote into Blonde’s dad’s pick of Life of Brian. But you can still vote if you’d like to tell us what we should be watching if we followed our own rules.
The vote will refresh next week, with a new list of nominations for February.
Want to be the movie nominator for the month? Here’s how - fill out the form below.