Short Circuit (1986)
Life is not a malfunction!
THE SUMMARY: A prototype military robot gets struck by lightning, refuses to obey its programming, and develops its own intelligence and moral conscience in a movie I might love if I was a 10-year-old in the ‘80s. I am not a 10-year-old in the ‘80s, but there are a few redeeming pieces of a certainly memorable film.
FROM MOVIE-PICKER WHISKEY NOODLE: This is a nostalgic movie from my childhood. It’s something me and my siblings would quote to each other often. Nothing too challenging, just a movie I can turn my brain off and watch. It’s also something I look forward to showing my infant son when he gets a bit older.
THE BEST:
I can respect the robot: Especially for its time, the Johnny 5 robot build is impressive. To construct the thing physically, and not as a digital effect, and to have it function, and look good, and achieve all the gestures and comedic moves it needs to is a genuinely incredible feat. Granted, some of it is puppet work, some of it is actually animatronic function, but the Johnny 5 creators had to build several different versions of the robot and robot parts for different purposes, and they did it all in just 14 weeks (read a detailed story about it here).
And to get a robot that works physically is only half the effort - you also need a robot with an endearing character, and that was achieved well too. For a few hours, my wife and I were jokingly talking like Johnny 5. Stephanie! Input! Many of the jokes are unfit to print.
Johnny 5’s influence also must be acknowledged - it clearly influenced (if it wasn’t outright ripped off by) WALL-E, even if the WALL-E script writer denies any intentional similarities and says he only saw Short Circuit once.
Pretty convincing
Ben is actually a brownface character: The ‘Apu’ of this movie is actually a white guy, Fisher Stevens, and his physical and verbal presentation as an Indian is actually pretty convincing. It’s a little exaggerated, but if I knew nothing, I probably would assume he’s an Indian guy just dressing up the character a bit. In fact, the performance was so convincing that Aziz Ansari thought for years in his childhood that Short Circuit 2 had an Indian in the lead role.
Of course, earlier this year, Fisher Stevens disavowed the performance, saying he regrets wearing brownface and it ‘haunts’ him. He says he still thinks Short Circuit is a really good movie, but he would never do that part again.
Montana is a great place to hide, but please tell everyone it sucks: Running away to hide in Montana is indeed a fairy tale ending, but please - do your part - tell your leftist friends that it sucks here. The winters are terrible, you have to drive hours just to get to a Costco or a Starbucks, and we are among the least diverse states in the union. As Californian transplants bemoan, it can be awfully difficult to find a good authentic taco.
THE WORST:
Stephanie is annoying and lame: For a lead, she’s insufferable - constantly complaining, constantly ridiculing men even though she herself contributes nothing other than annoying lectures, and inexplicably, she’s still the object of the male lead’s affection even though she’s done nothing to earn it. She’s a cat lady, plus she’s just frumpy. To be as annoying and useless as she is, you have to be significantly more attractive.
A lot of premises just don’t make sense: I hated the combat scenes. Yes, I know the movie intro showed how destructive and devastating these robots can be, and that’s why the army is constantly sending dozens of men to stop Johnny 5, but the scenes still make no sense. Dozens of soldiers with M16s can’t stop the robot, but someone can just walk up and turn it off? Why not just try turning it off to begin with? And I don’t care what kind of tech this robot is built from - it’s not withstanding hundreds of rifle rounds. Although, given the obvious incompetence of these soldiers, maybe it would. They hold their rifles by the magazine, after all.
The ‘love’ story was also forced and obligatory. Newton and Stephanie have no real story together, they hardly even interact or talk meaningfully and when they do she’s pissed off at him, and yet all of a sudden they are in love and moving away together. It’s completely shallow. I get it. It’s a kid’s movie. The prince and the princess just end up together - that’s the way it goes. Doesn’t mean it makes sense, and it doesn’t mean this ‘princess’ is worth upending your life either.
And if it is just a kid’s movie with a very simple love story, why are there weirdly sexualized and creepy references? Why is Ben talking about his ‘tremendous woody?’
Not sure he earned his marksmanship badge
A kid’s movie, they said
THE RATING: 2/5 Wickies. I suspect mostly a nostalgia trip for its biggest fans. Watching it today, there’s not much depth to it, either in its presentation or in its story.
YOUR RATING: Vote here ⬇
NEXT WEEK: Demolition Man (1993)
AFTER THAT? YOU PICK - VOTE! November’s movie nominations are selected by listener Whiskey Noodle.
*NOTE* Due to possible vote fortification when this poll was posted Saturday 11/13, I have refreshed it for Sunday 11/14 with additional security checks. If you voted previously, please vote again. As always, please be respectful of the show and of fellow listeners and do not attempt to manipulate the vote.
Want to be the movie nominator for the month? Here’s how - fill out the form below.